by Ergo Phizmiz

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pierrelefou Ergo's released a post-punk record, one that sounds like Magazine, or maybe one of the New York No Wave bands. Atonal and experimental, a great mirror for troubled times. Favorite track: So So.
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in the style of a particular type
of music journalist.
You know who you are.

F**K M*N ;) , the new album from under-ground music leg-end Ergo Phizmiz (PLC), is a blisteringly brilliant barnacled behemoth of a record, a grand Panjandrum of juddering, stamping, tear-yourself-apart-and-reconstitute-yourself-like-the-corned-beef-you-are hardcore axe wielding cockpop. (Sometimes writing hurts me). Beats that grind and shimmer betwixt antiquarian synthesis devices and guitars like armies of barking, rabid hounds. Yet in this fractal chaos there is, like in every music journalist, a bleeding core of aching, almost catatonic, tenderness, where plaintive, forbidding violins tease the raw, unfiltered feeling from the robotic automatische klang-krieg that churns relentless from the belly of this motorik world. (Have I mentioned Hegel yet? Or do you already gather that I have a couple of introduction to philosophy books somewhere?) There is fear, bags of malice, squalling riotous symphonies of anxiety where demonic industrial incel cowboys screech and yodel in the precisely quantized aether. But there is, yet, a glimmering of hope – we record collecting humans need not descend into despair, for where the brave fear to tread, this oozing broth of techno rock'n'roll has the power to cleanse our acrid souls. (We forgot to use the word “visceral”, does that matter? What time is the Top Gear repeat on?)


released June 13, 2018

Recorded on the 6th floor, Shoreditch.

Written, Performed & Produced by Dominic Robertson.
on Manvox, Electric guitar, Classical guitar, Casiotone, Korg Electribes, Violin




Ergo Phizmiz London, UK

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Track Name: The Iceberg Hits
Ooh will you fight me
stranger on the street who wants to bite me
run away, leg it to the nearest pub
and drink, drink, do your thing
do it for the Queen and future King
then go outside
randomly attack a person
then go home
and cry a bit
then get a plastic bag
and put it
on your head
until your face is red and
then you'll find
before you suffocate you will go blind
it's really fun
maybe you can masturbate at the same time
they say that doing that will make you blind
and listen to some ambient music
you deserve it
because you're worth it
you deserve it
because you're worth it

Oh shit now the iceberg hits
Oh shit now the iceberg hits
Oh shit now the iceberg hits

Will you dig holes and dance around them with me?
Will you dig holes and dance around them with me?
Will you dig holes and dance around them with me?

Everyone knows the devil dances

Come tango
Come tango with me
Come tango with me
Come tango
Come tango with me
Come tango with me

Everyone's a motherfucker
Everyone's a cheat
but it really doesn't matter
when yer nimble on yer feet
Track Name: My Sister Likes Me More Than You
Hey mister
would you like to meet my sister
oops too late now you've kissed her
would you like to come and meet our parents
Trevor and Susan
they'll make dinner
you can look at the lino

then you can
get married and make some babies
buy a house and
talk with nice men
and women who
wear fresh suits
and go on sabbatical
find out about yourself
in India

My sister
likes you but she likes my friend
and you like me but
we don't say anything and we
sit at home and hate our friends
Sing hey dilly do
sing daffy down dilly

If the coffee's good we will survive
cos it is absolutely great to be alive you know and

Your mortgage
Has been absorbed into
your magazine subscriptions
your hobbies
have been eaten by the earth
you are swallowed by the ground

My sister
likes other things to do
than hang around with you
I've found
that she enjoys my company
you see
Track Name: A Cowboy Needs an iPhone
Oh a cowboy needs an iPhone
to navigate through life
For the road ahead is painful
full of misery and strife
He needs communication
with the great big world outside
and to photograph his penis
for his lovely cowboy bride

Oh a cowboy needs an iPhone
when he's heading cross the land
oh a cowboy needs an iPhone
don't you dog gone understand?

Oh a cowboy needs a map app
when he's on the lonesome trail
for the navigate the landscape
without one you're bound to fail
he types in his co-ordinates
and says “Hi Ho Silver, Go!”
and he recommended SatNav
to everyone he know

Oh a cowboy needs a map app
when he's headin cross the range
oh a cowboy needs a map app
oh ain't it mighty strange

Oh a cowboy needs to Spotify
cross the long and lonely days
cause rememberin' all those cowboy songs
sends him into a daze
he can access all the music
from his days down on the farm
and he listens to the smooth jazz
when he needs to feel calm

Oh a cowboy needs to Spotify
when he's heading cross the land
oh a cowboy needs to Spotify
don't you dog gone understand?

Oh a cowboy needs Alexa
all her dang feminine charms
he would like to take that robut close
and hold her in his arms
and he'll ask her what the weather's like
and the meaning of life
and then when the singularity comes
he'll take her for his wife

Oh a cowboy needs Alexa
when he's heading cross the range
oh a cowboy needs Alexa
well ain't it mighty strange
Track Name: So So
We will bring the bad things, dancing in
your office will be a den of sin
open up the cabinet, loosen your tie
the time has come for you to die

Look at all the bad things, grinning through
the semblance that you think is you
your Fairy liquid soul anew
a contractual residue

So So
Comme ci Comme Ca
So So
Comme ci Comme Ca

We have all the bad things, just for you
You're not anti-Semitic, you just don't like Jews
your spirit like a stale beer
paracetamol and codeine is the answer here

Watch the fire coming down
eating up your nice small town
oh what have the chapel learnt
when the tapestries are burnt
Track Name: John and Sarah Are Just Like You
Oh dear
well ain't the weather fucking weird
shit it's
been going on an awful long
time why
are you out jogging in it
you say
it's really good to be outside

John and Sarah
drive a 4 x 4
and they exist 2 x 2
they might be animals
and John and Sarah
are really just like you

Why not drill a hole?

Fuck yeah
did you see the light outside
it has been going all night
I like the
weather when it's tropical
why it's like that
is something rather topical
Track Name: Meconium Suicide
I would rather
drink a beer with
Pol Pot than have
anything to
do with you
your conversation
leaves a lot to
be desired your
attitudes are
stupid and I
think you were born
underneath a
rock and you have
stayed there since you
first did squirt
into this world

Meconium suicide
Meconium suicide

Push too hard and
pull too hard what
have you learnt since
you came out from
underneath the rock
what shadows
have you cast
what items have you
bought what will you
get for Christmas
what will S atan bring you
darling boy now go
and chase the pigeons
darling boy now go
and chase the crows

One makes one
and two makes two
the schoolteacher
brings you out front
and hits you with
her rhythm stick
the pain it sears
but through the tears
you see the terrified
visage of crows
that you have chased around
and all the world feels better
and the searing pain is pleasant
go outside and hunt some pheasant

you're a grown up now
a big big boy
oh life it is enormous joy

Remember when
you smeared your shit
across the walls
and nice white shirts
were soiled
your friends went home
and washed their shirts
but really it was always there
the stink you made
and so with pride
you beam and strut about
just like the pheasant
you were hunting
you're a big man now
make no mistake
you have it
and you eat your cake
and your first breath
you eat it too
and suicide
will make you new
yes suicide
will make you new
just suicide
will make you new
yes suicide
will make you new

Meconium suicide
Track Name: A Bottle Full of Salt
My emerald before you go to sleep
there are one or two things I'd say to you

When you walk throughout the streets at night
don't you think it's fine, there's a hide behind

When people offer you up the truth take a
pinch of salt or a bottle full

There's wolves there scattered about the place
but they wear a mask of a human face

You'll grow up, maybe you'll get a job
and then you can hate all the things you do

My darling before you lay your head
Fall behind
they can wait for you
Track Name: Mystic Meg
Time and energy that you gave freely in the past pays off in the present
A magic meeting when you travel to a town built by a circular lake
Smile more, a fresh outlook on problems, solve a few
instead of behaving like dogs howling at the moon.

Empty of feelings your
true love can grow
if your heart is still free
then whatever your age
you must never miss breakfast
when all hope was fading
ambition burns brighter
to quiet tenderness then
your wheel of health needs a
really good push from
a lawyer with a most
unusual name

Especially when someone tries to put the squeeze on your emotions
There are signs your home lacks the serene colours
Making food in a special setting in a place linked with medicine
Soothe tension with mood balancing aromatherapy oils

You are about to share
in a strong, true love
that cancels out even the bitterest
of memories. If you are in
a relationship, then you
can really share love with
your partner if you both
turn from broken promises
and fantasy hopes
and focus on what is good between you.

And all of this happens because the world is waiting,
Waiting for one child
Black, white, yellow, no-one knows
But a child that will grow up and turn tears to laughter,
Hate to love, war to peace and everyone to everyone's neighbour
And misery and suffering will be words to be forgotten
Track Name: Paul Potts
Paul Potts is a man
he lives in a flat
has sensible hair
and a very squat dog
who howls at the moon
Paul Potts does too
when there's nobody there
in the dead of night
then he trundles home
with his very squat dog
who resembles Paul Potts
put the meat in the bowl
and the meat on your plate
and together you dine
though you're putting on weight
you're a good fat boy
and everybody knows
your dog and you
Paul Potts, Scooby Doo
Paul Potts, Scooby Doo

Paul Potts at home
with the very squat dog
Paul Potts is squat
and eats a lot
and his dog does too
your dog and you
are a very nice pair
Paul Potts over there
is the place where you go
those times
when you need
to feed your gullet
sit with guys with mullets
play a little round of darts
join the conference of farts
you breathe the air
and your dog does too
and I think he likes it
more than you
though you like it too
get the dog a beer
insist you're not a queer
though if you're to be honest
many long lonely nights
you've thought that Richard Hammond
was a bit of alright
but that's for you
yes that's for you

and what's a boy to do
but dream and drink
and don't begin to think
it's far too late
at eleven o'clock
to think of anything
but parmo and your cock
and you itch at your junk
to some quite substandard funk
Paul Potts, someone saw!
But it's easy to ignore
Later on at home
Paul Potts, with your dog
who is very, very squat
the evening is hot
so you open the window
roll up your sleeves, and
check that your dog
isn't riddled with fleas
Paul Potts, when you sleep
will you dream and will your
dog dream too?
Track Name: Happy Happy
Happy happy very very happy
what a cheeky face
what a cheeky face
what a cheeky face
happy happy very very happy
Look my happy face
Look my happy face

Fuck you all
and fuck you too

Happy happy Maria Von Trappy
Tell a nun to fuck off
Tell a nun to fuck off
Tell a nun to fuck off
Happy happy very very happy
Burning up the town
Burning up the town

Fuck you all and fuck you too
for you will be the
death of you
your happy times
are bright and new

Happy happy very very happy
Silly little fuck
Silly little fuck
Silly little
Happy happy very very happy
Watch it falling down
watch it falling down

Fuck you all
and fuck you too

Happy happy happy happy bitey
Gnashy little teeth
Gnashy little teeth
Gnashy little teeth
Happy happy we are all so bitey
Bite your happy face
Bite your happy face

Fuck you all and fuck you too
for you will be the
death of you
your happy times
are bright and new

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